Here are the criteria that we use when evaluating our nachos, in no particular order. It's more art than science - we let our palettes lead the way.
1. Quality of cheese.
We prefer aged white cheddar or Monterey jack. Cheddar is naturally white and dyed orange for purely aesthetic reasons - orange cheese is a bad sign for overall quality of the ingredients (who invented that Velveeta stuff anyway?).
2. Quality of chips.
Ideally we like chips made freshly on site. These tend to be a little greasier, but they just taste better. Round, yellow corn chips are almost always stale, so these are never a good sign. At home, we go for organic chips.
3. Variety of vegetables.
A good mixture of tomatoes, onions (red is best, but white is fine too) and peppers are a pre-requisite. We prefer mushrooms and olives (the gourmet kind, not the pre-cut olives you see at Subway), the olives add saltiness which really brings out the flavour of the other ingredients. Hot peppers are fine in moderation, but we stay away from clearly un-nacho ingredients like pineapple. Daun is a vegetarian (Travis is not) so we always go for the meat-free option, but if you do get meat the same general rules for quality and size of cuts still apply.
4. Size of vegetables.
This is very important, but it might be difficult to describe. The more finely you chop your vegetables, the greater the variety you can get on each chip. So instead of getting a single jalapeno on a chip, you get a nice mixture of all of the different flavours. Imagine placing all the vegetables in a food processor and pulsing it for 5 seconds - that is the size we are going for. Like many of our nacho rules, this technique is well-used by the Iron Duke in Kingston, Ontario.
5. Seasonings.
This is not a pre-requisite, but good seasoning can be a welcome addition to the nachos. We like cajun style spices - anything salty and spicy. But don't go overboard.
6. Layering.
This can make or break a plate a nachos. No matter how many layers, the bottom layer MUST have cheese and toppings in amounts similar to the top layers. Why do restaurants always try to hide a pile of broken chips under the bottom layer? Not good form.
7. Quantity.
This is similar to the layering. If only one size is offered, it should be enough to cover two plates. Ideally the menu should offer two sizes - one that is good as an appetizer for two people, and one that is an appetizer for four. You should only place as many chips as you can properly top with cheese and veggies. No nude chips.
8. Value.
We know how cheap it is to make good nachos. We feel that anything above $12 is excessive - remember, this is pub food, not fine food. We have enjoyed excellent nachos for under $12 several times, so we feel this threshold is justified. We paid $16 for terrible nachos once and will not do it again.
9. Presentation.
This isn't critical, but it adds to the experience. We know that restaurants like to place checkered wax paper underneath the chips, but we don't feel it adds to our meal or helps the environment. A classy pile of nachos on a clean plate is just fine.
10. Sides.
Traditional sides (salsa, guacamole and sour cream) and less traditional (re-fried beans) are nice, but we don't feel they are worth paying extra since they often are of a low quality. We will not spend much time on sides, unless they are very bad. When we make nachos at home, we prefer homemade salsa or Herdez.
Our scale:
Why the Iron Duke? It is a newish pub in Kingston, Ontario, where we ate frequently over the past few years. They literally redefined for us what nachos can be. We are now living in Ottawa, and are constantly searching for another perfect 10.
